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Middle lane Malcolm the moron

Saturday, 18 March 2006 ‡ 02:28

It really, really does my head in, morons travelling in the middle lane of an empty motorway, when they should clearly be using the first lane.

Speeding along in the first lane, i have to use the overtaking lane to pass a lorry, fair enough... then i have to overtake the pillock sitting in the middle lane while i have Jonny Turbo sitting up my arse, wanting to pass me, so he can continue on his 100mph journey. So i move directly over the the first lane hoping the idiot has realised, but no, they continue on their merry way, oblivious to the fact that they are forcing others to overtake in the second overtaking lane.

Do i begin to note number plates and put them on here?

Labels: driving, idiot, lane, Middle, motorway, sleep, stupid

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Learn to drive!

Friday, 2 December 2005 ‡ 09:32

Driving along a dual carriageway, the second lane merges into the first, but this does not occur for another mile or two, so why the bloody hell do people insist on queueing in the first lane when it is perfectly legal to continue in the second lane up to the merge and join at the last moment.

Then you have those idiots who do not allow this legal move to occur because for some reason they believe they are correct in trying to not allow you to continue driving to the end of the second lane, so wedge their car in the middle of the road so you can not pass or those who just absolutely will not let you pull into the first lane at the end of the second lane because they feel you are jumping the queue.

Listen you idiot driver, it is a valid and legal move, since the road markings to indicate the end of the second lane and beginning of the single lane are about 5 meters ahead. Driving along those and trying to join the first lane is jumping the queue and is illegal.

There must be 1 in 3 drivers who does not have a clue about this and about indicating when changing lanes, lane discipline, merging, driving, concentrating, just general driving ability. These idiots should stick to using public transport, where we have (usually) and trained competent driver behind the wheel

How many idiots do i have to pass on the inside lane of a dual carriageway or motorway, before they realise the inside lane is empty for several miles and being in the first overtaking lane ('middle lane' to those idiots who don't understand and 'the 70mph lane' to those pond life who somehow have managed to gain a valid driving license). Use the inside lane when its empty, the purpose of the other two lanes are for overtaking, that's why they are referred to as the first and second overtaking lanes!

Labels: Drive, fail, idiots, lane discipline, learn, motorway, public transport

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Are you stupid?

Monday, 25 April 2005 ‡ 23:31

Using the motorways everyday can become an absolute nightmare. It is annoying when drivers panning down the outside lane at 80mph+ notice the Range Rover travelling at 60mph in the inside lane hit the brakes so hard, it must snap their heads forward. Blind as a bat the drivers do not notice the Range Rover is in fact the Highways Agency vehicle, which has HIGHWAYS AGENCY stamped on the back, instead of POLICE and actually has YELLOW lights bolted to its roof. To add to this, the car actually has Black/Yellow squares on the side, instead of Blue/Yellow. Understandably from a distance the car does look like a police Range Rover, but it does not take long to notice, having stared at it for a second or three... looking for the visual clues. Drivers will drive past at 65mph and continue at this speed until they feel they are safe to continue at 80mph+ once the Range Rover is some several hundred yards behind them.

The other most annoying thing is stupid idiots who drive in the 1st overtaking lane even when the inside lane is empty, usually oblivious to the amount of chaos they are causing behind them as drivers attempt to overtake/undertake trying to avoid the dumb idiot.

I drove nearly 100 miles on Saturday with several idiots sitting in the 1st overtaking lane, while i continued in the inside lane.

Another common idiot is the one who will only ever drive in the 1st overtaking lane. They will drive along at whatever speed it is they feel comfortable with, but never overtake anyone they catch, but brake heavily to slow down and travel behind them until the person in front moves over.

I had one such women catch me up, probably doing about 80mph in her Micra and hit the brakes and followed me for a few miles, then when i moved over into the empty inside lane, she began to accelerate, probably still in top gear, which she did not manage to do, since i pulled out to overtake a lorry. She then slowed and followed me for a few miles. This continued for a while until i got fed up. I even slowed to about 60mph and she never tried to use the outside lane, dumb cow.

Rubber necking! Damn these drivers are just so stupid, they are asking for trouble... there has been an incident somehwere around them and they have to hit the brakes and have a good look, why... i've seen a rubber necker watching the opposite carriageway because there were 3 or 4 cars wrecked on the hard shoulder and the idiot hit the guy in front of him... wow, how clever was that? Now we have complete chaos as rubber neckers are spoilt for choice.

Labels: bad driving, chaos, crash, motorway, rubber necking

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